“I gotta take the big WHAT? I gotta take the big POOP! I GOTTA TAKE THE BIG POOP! I GOTTA TAKE THE BIG POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP” — Roomie, announcing that he is going to go use the restroom.
“akka akka akka AKKA AKKA AKKA AKKA AKKA” — Roomie, quoting Mars Attacks
“Man, you look like, like…some sorta Snoop Dogg-ass nigga.” — Roomie, complimenting a friend on his choice of hats
“Two students! Two measly little students! What?! That can’t be. That CAN’T be.” — Roomie, expressing surprise at how many people showed up for Basket Weaving 101.
“Hold on, hold on, hold on. Lemme just… I wanna ask you a serious, honest-to-god question here. I’m legitimately curious about this. Just answer honestly. I just wanna ask…Are you never gonna get any better at this game, dog? Like, have you hit your peak? Is this the best you can do?” — Roomie, telling a friend that it might be time to put down the controller and play a different game.
“Shots, shots, shots, shots…errybooody…DICKS, DICKS, DICKS, DICKS, DICKS DICKS, ERRYBOOOODY. ERRYBOOOODY.” — Roomie, getting fucked up
“Let’s GOOO! Let’s GOOO! Yeah, what a BEEEAST! YEEAARHH! WHAT A BEEEEAST!” — Roomie, rooting for his team in Madden.
“Man, it’s just that, you know, getting shot with BIG BLACK GUNS, you know, overwhelms me a bit, you know? Like, they’re just spraying all over me, and, man, there are so many bullets in my ass…” — Roomie, making a sexual joke, in case you didn’t catch it
“I’m gonna PISS in his SOUP.” — Roomie, explaining why he would be a terrible waiter.
“The reason you get high is like, uh, it gives you extra dopamine, and extra dopamine causes schizophrenia, dog, so like, if you get high, you get schizophrenia, dog.” — Roomie, discouraging his friend from taking a walk with Mary Jane.